Me:  What did you think about the testimonials I had you watch when you were still so sick and in pain? 

Alaina:  Actually, I kinda hated those people. Because they represented a hope that was not possible for me. It felt like putting candy in front of my face, but never being allowed to eat it … but on steroids times a million. I felt like, “My condition isn’t exactly what she had,” or “My pain is worse than what his was,” or “I have been sicker longer,” and just thinking “how can it work for me?” 

Me:  So, did you think it was the wrong thing to do, or do you think that on a subliminal level it gave you a message of hope?

Alaina:  It had to be the right thing because without those people we wouldn’t have had the courage to take the path we did. Because on a basic level, I think the scientific case for limbic system impairment DID make sense to me. If we had not watched those people, then we wouldn’t have heard some of their suggestions and we wouldn’t have tried the next thing, which might then fail, BUT that would lead us to the next thing and that might fail, but then that would lead us to the next thing … and all toward the goal of healing the limbic system impairment. It’s like, if you can just keep chugging along at that – which is the worst experience when you’re in it – it will give you such strength in the long run. I know that people who are still sick may want to punch me in the face for saying that! … but that process eventually leads you to the things that end up being the right things for you. Never give up trying, and never give up hope.